Monday, April 1, 2013

We're All Born Scared & Naked, What Next?

    All of us come into this world with differences, social, economic, demographic and so on. However we are all born scared & naked, the difference is what happens next. Yes, obviously some of us are born with all the cards; wealth, good looks, great parents, intelligence and some with the stack against them; poverty, broken families, neglect, bad health. Yet we all have a choice of where to go from there. I’m sure you all have heard the story of someone who came from nothing and against all the odds became immensely successful and I also know you have heard of those who come from extreme wealth and throw it all away, so what’s the difference that makes someone successful?

    There's as many opinions on this as there are answers so I’ll just try and focus on one concept, it’s fear or lack thereof. Fear can be a debilitating factor to many in this world, however it can also be the driving force to your success. According to Anthony Robbins, “Average people are afraid of failing if they attempt to succeed, while successful people are only afraid of not succeeding”, I love this, I think it’s the simplest explanation of this theory I’ve ever heard and yet it explains it quite clearly. The difference of how you look at things can be the greatest difference in your life, many of the best life coaches call this your “Mindset”, I call it your “Choice”. You can either choose to be content with life the way it is or you can choose not to be. That doesn't mean that you have to be miserable if you haven’t achieved what you want, it just means that you can always choose to strive for greater things.

   For an example on a different way to look at this, the person that comes from nothing and made themselves a success felt they had no choice other than success. The only way out of their situation was to change it, they didn't allow themselves to be defined by their circumstance, they made no excuses and focused on the solution. They felt that they were on a sinking ship and learned how to swim, they were afraid of remaining where they were in life, much more than failing. In a way you can say they actually had everything going for them, because there was no way to go but up. On the other hand you have those that seem to be born with everything; money, education, great family, yet they make nothing of themselves. They had too many choices and felt no need to do anything about it. Their back wasn't against a wall, so they have no drive to make anything of themselves. This is why so many families of great wealth, seem to fall apart after a few generations. So there is always two ways to look at things, it all boils down to choice.

   Just take a look at professional sports, yes there are exceptions to every rule, however for the most part, the vast majority of those who achieve the greatest success came from meager and troubled beginnings. They felt that this was their only way out, so they didn't even consider failure. They had the drive to train everyday of their lives, to the point of complete exhaustion and got up the next day and did the same. You may say that it’s a matter of physical ability not just desire, yet I can assure you that for every success there are dozens of those who had the same ability and just didn't have the same drive, they gave themselves too many choices. 

Floyd Mayweather Jr. 8 Time World Champion
Lets use Floyd Mayweather Jr as an example, from Wikepedia, in his own words; "When I was about eight or nine, I lived in New Jersey with my mother and we were seven deep in one bedroom and sometimes we didn't have electricity, when people see what I have now, they have no idea of where I came from and how I didn't have anything growing up"It was not uncommon for young Mayweather to come home from school and find used heroin needles in his front yard. His mother was also addicted to drugs, and he had an aunt who died from AIDS because of her drug use. "People don't know the hell I've been through", he says. about his youth and his father, "I don't remember him ever taking me anywhere or doing anything that a father would do with a son, going to the park or to the movies or to get ice cream", he says. "I always thought that he liked his daughter (Floyd's older stepsister) better than he liked me because she never got whippings and I got whippings all the time", Floyd could have easily given himself many excuses, that because of his circumstance he could never achieve anything, thankfully to us boxing fans he did the exact opposite. Floyd is an 8 time undefeated world champion, with a 43-0 record and holds belts in 5 different weight classes, hows that for success.

    Another way to look at this is there are 2 types of people, those who find problems and those who find solutions. It’s the same thing, just how you perceive it. Yes the obstacle is still there, just some focus on the obstacle, while some don’t waste one moment on anything other than finding there way around, over, under or through it. My all time favorite quote is “In the midst of difficulty, lies opportunity” - Albert Einstein. What he meant by this is that when there’s difficulty in life it presents you with an opportunity to find a solution, for some of us that challenge is half the reward, not half the battle, for others the challenge becomes overwhelming, giving them an excuse to quit. I always have believed if you look for something you will find it, if you look for a problem it will appear, yet if all you look for are solutions, you won’t even notice most of the problems. So having the right attitude wins half the battle every time.

    So stop focusing on the wrong things, were all born scared & naked, what are you going to do next? Don’t give yourself any choice but success and you're already halfway there.

Thank you for reading and the best of luck in all your endeavors, 

+R. Michael Gonzalez

Please ask questions or leave opinions in the comment section, as I welcome any outside opinions and will answer any questions that are made directly and honestly.

If you found this article helpful, please show your support