Saturday, March 16, 2013

Confidence & Humility - The Perfect Mix

     Many of us struggle with these two personality types. Usually we posses one or the other, but rarely do we find the ability to mix them well. I personally have never had a problem with confidence, I have always believed in myself, yet humility is one I have to work on daily.  If you’ve read my previous post “ Be Teachable, But Never Be Gullible “ I write a personal experience I had with this. I was in a Karate school that was full of confidence, our teacher was this huge 8th degree black belt that wouldn’t know about humility if it slapped him in the face. he exuded confidence out of every pore of his body, why wouldn’t he, he was a 6’ 3” inch 230 pound man who could break you into pieces even if he wasn’t an 8th degree black belt. But even though I always respected his abilities and his knowledge of the art, I didn’t really respect him as a man, he was arrogant, aggressive and overbearing, or at least that’s how I perceived him. 

     This never bothered me too much, until I started to notice that’s how people were starting to perceive me as well. For many this would be just fine, but not for me, I have no desire to intimidate or make people feel uncomfortable around me, which unbridled confidence can often do. That’s when I met one of my greatest influences I have ever had, my new teacher Master Laffoco. He was a little quiet humble man, who by the way was a 10th degree master, the highest achievable position in martial arts. But it wasn’t his rank or skill that impressed me so much, which by the way was unbelievable, it was his humility. At first I could not understand how, someone who was so amazing and talented and had achieved such a position of respect and admiration in his field, did not in any way demand or expect it. This immediately drew me to him, it made him so much more than just a great martial artist. That’s when I first realized the power of being humble. I spent many years with Master Laffocco, he taught me a lot about the art, but he taught me so much more about life. 

      He used to explain to me that it’s easy to be humble if you are lacking in confidence or lack of ability, it is equally easy to be confident when you achieve mastery at something, but when you can combine them, you truly have something special to offer others.

    You may be wondering what any of this has to do with sales or business, well it has everything to do with it. Especially if you're in the MLM business, you're in the people business, your success is greatly measured by your ability to connect with as many people as possible, from all walks of life. If you lack confidence and are very humble, yes people will like you, but they won’t believe in your ability to help them achieve their goals. Yet if you are overfilled with confidence and show no humility, you will come across as arrogant and turn people away. It is the balance of these two personality types that will draw people to you, it will give them the confidence that you have something valuable to offer them, while remaining approachable and always their equal, even if you know more about something than they do.

"Modesty. Contrary to conventional stereotypes that successful salespeople are pushy and egotistical, 91 percent of top salespeople had medium to high scores of modesty and humility. Furthermore, the results suggest that ostentatious salespeople who are full of bravado alienate far more customers than they win over." - From Seven Personality Traits of Top Salespeople

    So whichever personality type you currently have an abundance of, don’t trade one for the other, always strive to keep them in balance, as this is a huge key to your success in business as well as life. For those who are naturally humble this task will be much easier, as all you have to do is build your self confidence while remaining true to your nature. For those of us that are naturally confident, this is much easier said than done and if you are like me you will struggle with this your whole life, but as long as you're struggling with it, you're on the right track.

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Thank you for reading and the best of luck in all your endeavors, 

+R. Michael Gonzalez

Please ask questions or leave opinions in the comment section, as I welcome any outside opinions and will answer any questions that are made directly and honestly.

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